My name is Fred Flintstone. You may know me from such television shows as The Flintstones, or Barney does Fred. The reason I am writing is to tell you an interesting story I had at the Bedrock Free Clinic. What follows may shock some of you, but I feel that my story must be heard.
It all started when I went to the Bedrock Free Clinic down on Boulder Avenue. My first three visits were uneventful, but my fourth was, um, interesting. Doctor Pebstein had me take off my shirt as usual, but then he requested something very unusual. He asked me to put an entire sabre-toothed tiger into my nose, and then drink a fourth of scotch. I did what he asked, because he is the doctor, you know. Then he requested I stand up on a chair without any pants on and paint my toenails pink. Kind of strange, but I did it. What he asked next was the last straw. He asked me to shave my buttocks into a Brontosaurus Penis pattern. I told him no, and I thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn't. He persisted, and eventually got help from a big 300 pound nurse named Bama Bama. The next thing I knew, Bama was shaving my butt, and the doctor was kicking Freddy's Jimmy.
My question is, is this normal? Should I talk to my church elders for help?
Thanks for any info,
Fred
P.S.
I sell vitamins.
