Welcome to the 20th edition of Change of Shift! I know that St. Patrick’s Day has come and gone, but I thought it would make a nice theme for this week anyway. That said, I have come up with a limerick for each entry!* Enjoy!

There once was a man we’ll call John
Other’s failings he’d not act upon.
Until one sad day,
Day shift caused a delay
And his anger could not be withdrawn.

The fiddly little things that we do
Have taken some practice, it’s true.
But having to teach
Is no day at the beach
When your pupil is learning anew.

When cooking for a festive affair
It would do you some good to beware
That amidst all your fun
You did not use onion
And your party ended up with a scare.

As nurses we’re somewhat protective
Above all to kids irrespective
Of their haunting eyes
And parents whose lies
Are best told to a thorough detective.

Could a celebrity work as a nurse?
She’d have to put down her nice purse!
A fix for the shortage?
Or wanton reportage?**
But an assistant? I’d not be adverse…

This nurse avoids rocking the boat
Her health she’s too scared to promote
You need to take care
Of yourself to repair
It’s okay to say no (and I quote!)

A woman comes in with a stench,
So bad that your nostrils do clench.
What would you do
If it happened to you?
Her privates you just want to drench!

Regardless of what your attire
You’re a nurse to all who’d enquire
Our conduct can show
How to act like a pro
Of supporting our trade we can’t tire!

In NICU there’re parents galore
The nurses must tell what’s in store
But this mom’s at fault
For her baby’s assault
And maybe should be shown the door.

When searching for an online community
Nurse sites impress some disunity
When lo and behold
A nurse blogger takes hold
In creating a new opportunity!

Here’s one from the opth’mology nurse
A tale that’s somewhat perverse
An old cure for the blind,
Sure to boggle your mind
When the patients end up with a curse.

When this southern nurse spins a yarn
About bosses who don’t give a darn
She relates how it is
To make friends in the biz
The kind that aren’t born in a barn.

There once was a man with a health plan
It took ’bout 3 weeks to have tests ran
This did not fly
Then he found he could buy
His own private medicine man.

It’s not easy to work with the dying
Especially with one who is trying
To thwart your good deed
When prayer is in need
Good for this nurse who was uncomplying.***

Yet again it will be Nurse’s Week
Our profession is not for the meek!
Give our gala a boost
With these plans introduced
Hurry up now and go take a peek!

Sometimes a nurse comes off rude
Unhappiness they often exude
When a patient needs aid,
They should not be betrayed
By a nurse who is in a bad mood.

An ER nurse sees some gross stuff
Some ailments can be quite rough
And when you dig deep,
Beware what you reap
Those nurses must really be tough.

A couple of bloggers submitted multiple posts, but I could only manage to write one limerick per blog (unless the two posts were related)! Here are the other posts that were submitted:

New Army Surgeon General is NURSE Major General Gale Pollock

Mystic Nurse by Patrick Colwell, RN

*I am not a professional limerick writer, nor do I play one on TV. These limericks do not always strictly adhere to the rather rigid meter of a typical limerickian rhyme scheme, and they might not even conform to the anapestic or amphibrach feet so common with this type of poem. (Is that like writing with two anapestic feet? Ha! If you got that, you’re either into very subtle humor, or… well, I’ve digressed here haven’t I?) Anyway, I don’t even know what anapestic and amphibrach feet sound like, so I have no idea if I’ve adhered to them or not.

**Yes,“reportage” is a real word.

***No, “uncomplying” is not.

And finally, this edition of Change of Shift has been brought to you by RhymeZone and thesaurus.com. (Not brought to you in a financial sort of way – more of a “those sites were invaluable to the production of this post” sort of way.) As always, thank you to Kim for this opportunity to host and for maintaining the whole darn thing!