Comments on: A Brave Decision

By: Pam

Pam — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 00:10:11 +0000

My dad is on a ventilator. Severe sepsis and all that accompanies it. We need to make an informed decision within the week.
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

By: maggie

maggie — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 00:59:39 +0000

Hmmm. Hi. Interesting. There are somethings I don’t understand. Maybe you could help me understand, geena? Thanks.

1. He had “some acute renal failure”.

He was being dialyzed.

The dialysis machine then went kaput.

So he he must have been getting more swollen with fluid.

Then he started having breathing problems…why? Was this related to his kidneys or something else?

It sounds like he was “bucking” the ventilator if that is the right word. That is the reason for the paralytics, no?

It sounds like he had a breathing problem aside from the kidney problem.

2. Once the dialysis machine was fixed, you were getting ready to put him back on, and the wife said stop?

It doesn’t sound like the medical team had decided that the patient was “unsaveable”. Did the wife really understand? Ie. was this an informed decision?

3. When the wife asked you if he was getting better, you replied you didn’t think he was. Then she said go ahead and disconnect, and you did.

Is this the way it is normally done?? Sorry, I’m just trying to understand! I was under the impression that such serious issues are normally discussed with the medical team ie. doctors, residents, specialists, nurse).

When the wife decided to disconnect apparently based on what you had told her, how is it possible to immediately do that? Shouldn’t such an order come from the medical team, or specialist, or someone? Can the nurse decide to disconnect without any physician/team input, based on what the nurse felt about his medical condition?

By: geena

geena — Mon, 02 Aug 2004 12:46:03 +0000

He was a partial DNR. Drugs and ventilator only, which is what we were already doing.

By: Susan

Susan — Sun, 01 Aug 2004 21:28:01 +0000

I read your post in agony, remembering my sister’s husband’s death in late January – the picture of health going in to the hospital to find the cause of anemia – dead a week later, after having 3 ft of his colon cut out. He returned from the recovery room, was put on the “normal” 30 minute interval vitals check, and promptly died after a dose of demoral while snoring. Well, you would think he died, but they called a code blue (he was also blue), and resucitated him, put him on a ventilator, sent him to ICU, then called my sister (who had just arrived at home after a very long day). The next 3 days were agony while we all dealt with the realization that he was gone – and had been all along – except now the family was put in the position to decide to remove the ventilator. Our family still lives in this nightmare, especially since we have had to go to the same hospital and wait in the same waiting room through 3 more anesthesia surgeries in our family in the last few months. Our hearts break, and our family seems to have a giant hole in it. One of the most difficult things we’ve had to deal with is that the surgeon has never even had the courtesy to acknowledge the patient’s death – regardless of the cause.

By: sharon

sharon — Sat, 31 Jul 2004 04:49:53 +0000

Was he already a DNR?

By: AJ

AJ — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 00:35:14 +0000

I have never been in a situation like that, but I can imagine that it would be the hardest thing to do. Although on a much smaller scale, I compare it to putting my beloved dog and best friend to sleep. I was told that he was unable to stand up because of his arthritis and that he was incontinent. Although I wanted him so badly, and knew I would miss him a lot, I knew that it was the best thing for him. “Will you put him to sleep, please?” were probably the hardest words I’ve ever said. When I have seen what a bitterly cold winter it has been, I do not regret my decision.